V. Staff Responsibilities

Role	Responsibility
Nursing Staff	Document every fecal event in the FOL. Document every anal release of wind in the W.I.N.D. system. If you hear it, smell it, or suspect it — verify it and log it.
CNAs	Report all suspected farts and fecal events to the RN immediately. You are our eyes, ears, and noses on the front line.
Attending Physicians	Complete the F.E.C.E.S. review before signing any discharge order. No exceptions.
Case Managers	Confirm FOL and W.I.N.D. entries are complete before initiating discharge planning.
Revenue Cycle / Coding	Ensure all GEV codes are submitted on every claim. Audit 10% of charts weekly for FOL and W.I.N.D. completeness.
G.A.S. Team	Round every 2 hours. Respond to all Code Wind pages within 5 minutes. Award Flatulence Achievement Certificates with a straight face.
Dietary	Serve prune juice warm. Serve coffee full-caf. Stop asking patients if they "want" it. They need it. We need it. The hospital needs it.
Administration	Support staff in enforcing these protocols. If a patient complains, remind them that our policies are designed for their health, their safety, and our Medicare Star Rating.

Questions regarding this policy may be directed to:

David R. Stoolworthy, M.H.A., M.B.A.

Chief Operating Officer — Absolutely Real Hospital System (ARHS)

Email: dstoolworthy@absolutelyreal.org
Phone: Ext. 2800

* Accessibility claims certified by the ARHS Department of Honestly Trying. The large-print forms exist but nobody knows where Ward Four keeps them.